I am excited! I am so, so, so excited! The most difficult chapter of my life so far is closing. I will start by saying that while this chapter was difficult, it is also now the chapter I am most proud of. It is also the reason I am happy to be writing this today. Here is a very brief summary about what has lead me here and why I’m doing what I’m doing.
My Dad died of Pancreatic Cancer when I was 25. I did not handle this well. I’m not sure what handling the death of a loved one “well” looks like, but I know now that I did the opposite of what a person should do. I also chose to leave an abusive marriage and get divorced. If you have ever been through a divorce you get it. Divorce hits you like a freight train. It drags you along stopping, then starting while also running over everything in its path without warning. How long does this go on for? An indeterminable length of time.
Enter today, I am simply a different person now. I am so proud of this person. I love this person. I am the person I’ve always wanted to be.
With this same excitement is also where fear inevitably starts to creep in. Anyone else find uncharted territory terrifying?
Being ready to tell the good, the bad and ugly.
This requires me to open up in a very public, vulnerable way about my struggles. I don’t know if you have noticed but we live in a world that supports and promotes the filtered ”good” parts of our lives while stigmatizing and isolating people who are going through the hard parts of life. I personally can say that I’ve done this. I’ve posted a vacation photo, a workout photo, a forced nice family photo, when the reality was that my life, self-esteem, happiness was at an all-time low but, telling the truth seemed to be impossible.
I have learned so much about myself, I have learned so much about human interaction, who we are, why we do the things we do. I have learned so much about fighting through the hard to get to the good. I just want to help anyone else who is struggling. Being quiet about your struggles helps no one. I know for me how healing it has been to share these things openly. I also know that everyone goes through very difficult times and would love to tell you that I know its going to be ok. That you are wonderful, you deserve the best, you can work to being happy and loving yourself. I’m going to be that reassurance and guidance that will tell you to pick yourself back up again.
Have you ever had someone tell you something, read a blog, watched a Facebook or Instagram video that you relate to so well but haven’t spoken up about your own truth, but the reassurance that someone out there understands brings you some peace? Well, that is what I hope to do. Maybe you won’t relate to anything that I write and that’s ok because I truly hope you don’t in many ways.
So, if you’re still interested in what I have to say, check out the list below of my upcoming blog posts chronicling my struggles and successes.
A good old transformation…from postpartum to now. Check it out!
Coping with loss or not coping at all…the beginning of my downward spiral.
Broke with a BMW… leaving my marriage with $24.97.
Why so quiet? The truth about Domestic Violence… my own experience.
Have you ever heard of Iritis? Ya, me either… How my eyeballs revolted against stress.
Inflammatory what??… How I started and failed at building an Anti-inflammatory Diet and what I’m doing now.
How I finally got rid of my Melasma! (It was soo bad) pictures included.
You’re being an asshole because you’re the problem…ever found yourself being a total dick to everyone? Ya, it’s not them it’s you.
Stop Scrolling and Handle your shit…What you’re thinking and saying about others says a lot more about how you feel about yourself than them.
Which one are you most excited to read?